Adventures in Muffin-Making

So, I think I've established myself as a pretty good muffin-maker. Many muffins have I marvelously made from scratch over the years and there's definitely been more hits than misses. As a result, I feel that the risk of total failure is pretty low. However, be that as it may, I'm never quite sure what I'm getting into when I start throwing things into a bowl. This time was no different.

The story behind this recipe all started last year when my mom received a $24 box of hot chocolate from her employer, who said that it was just the most magnificent thing ever and she simply had to try it. It was Thomas Haas Aztec Chili Hot Chocolate, and the instructions called for a half cup of the mixture and a half cup of homogenized milk. Needless to say, it was barely liquid, uncomfortably spicy, and no one was very impressed. But my mom didn't want to waste it or admit to her boss that she hated it, so it sat around in the cupboard for a few months before she gave it to me for baking.

One of the first recipes I posted on here was for my Chuckleberry Chili muffins, which were my first attempt at baking with the chocolate-chili combo. Those were delish, but needed some revision so I tried to build this recipe somewhat off of that. Please note that I don't measure anything properly so the ingredients are mostly guesswork.

HOT COCOA CRAN-CHILI SPICE MUFFINS

2 cups flour

1.5 cups granulated sugar

3/4 cup Thomas Haas Aztec Hot Chocolate

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

dash of salt

1/2 tsp powdered cloves

*Optional 1/2 cup cocoa powder, not used in this recipe but would have made it better, IMHO

1 egg

1 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/8 cup chili oil

1/2 cup chopped cranberries (or more, depending on your preference)

a bit of maple syrup or brown sugar to sweeten

a bit of cinnamon

Ok. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Start by whipping out your cranberries. I had mine in the freezer beforehand, because I find it much easier to cut them into smaller pieces when they're good and firm. Just chop them in half, or thirds if you get some enormous cran-mutation. Dump those in a bowl, drizzle them with a bit of maple syrup or a tablespoon or so of brown sugar to sweeten them up a bit and mix in a bit of sassy cinnamon. Put them to the side for now.

In a large bowl, dump in all the ingredients from the first section: Your flour, your sugar, your unconventional hot chocolate mixture, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cloves. Combine. If you actually use the Thomas Haas mix (and you could definitely do this without) it should look something like a Shake and Bake mix with the little flecks of chocolate, etc. Don't be alarmed. This is normal. Also add the optional 1/2 cup of cocoa powder at this point if you're looking for something more chocolatey. The chocolateyness is minimal otherwise.

Now it's time to turn your Shake and Bake into a bowl of cement. Do this by adding the egg, milk, vegetable and chili oil. If you want less of a spicy aftertaste, go for less chili oil. Mix thoroughly, with passion. At this point you should be ready to add your saucy, sassy cinnamon cranberries. Toss those little minxes in! Give 'em a good stir! Lose them in that yummy, cementy, quicksand-like substance!

Your oven should be ready by now so just go on ahead and grease up a muffin pan (should make about 12) and slip them in the oven for about 20 minutes, or until ready. Just keep an eye on them, will you?

The results look something like banana muffins, but nothing could be farther from the truth. When you bite in, it's a cakey, spicy, chocolatey, cranberry sensation, and definitely a good way to use up some crappy hot chocolate. Not the best muffins I've ever made, but definitely among the most interesting!

Five Things Regarding Public Courtesy

Disclaimer: The following views reflect my own perceptions of what should and should not be acceptable in the culture and society in which I live, but may be deemed perfectly appropriate in others.

First thing: Women's washrooms.

Why, women, do you pee on the seat? Is it because you squat awkwardly above the toilet instead of sit on it? And why do you do that? Because there's pee on the seat? It won't kill you to sit on the seat, but if you can't manage that, it won't kill you to clean up after yourself when you're done making a mess. You'll be washing your hands shortly. Which, by the way, you should be doing regularly regardless of what you touch in the stall, so don't think you can get away with leaving before completing this crucial step.

And as you could even do it with your foot, what could possibly be your excuse for failing to flush?

Second thing: Old people on the skytrain.

Particularly during rush hour commutes, the whole "courtesy seat" thing kind of goes out the window. Sure, some older people are fine with standing and they might even be offended if you insist they take your spot (though it's generally still best to offer). But I'm not talking about older people, I'm talking about OLD people. The Elderly. On a few occasions, I have seen elderly people who are clearly having challenges walking and possibly standing have to stumble through half a train car before someone - myself, if not someone before me - gives up their seat. That's messed up, bro.

Third thing: Appropriate places to cut your nails

There are several options. Some include: In the bathroom, in your room, in your backyard, in a ravine, in a crevasse, or anywhere else where you would generally be alone. Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, appropriate places do NOT include public transit.

Fourth thing: Translink

Dear Translink: You are generally all but useless outside of Vancouver proper. Even in that region, your prime services have a curfew. In these changing times, you have consistently failed to keep up. Many people have wondered, and continue to wonder, why the skytrain is not open, even on a bi-hourly or hourly basis, for the entire night. We would only expect this for Friday, Saturday, and perhaps special events. Is this too much to ask? If so, then surely it is not too much to ask that if you must shut down services on a nightly basis, to perform track maintenance during that time? Why must you inconvenience the public in every way possible? You managed to figure out a way to scrape together some money for the Evergreen line - Use it to improve the services you already have.

Fifth thing: Smile.

Now this is something I really need to work on. I have a very well-developed "transit scowl" that has sort of replaced my "relaxed face", and while it seems to keep me from being approached by anyone, good or bad, I know I feel better when I see people smiling or happy, so I should try to do the same. The trick is learning to do it unconsciously, lest some awkward situations occur. I may have accidentally flashed a few "I want to wear your skin" smiles in my life. But if you make eye contact, get a door held open for you, hold open a door for someone else, otherwise make non-violent contact with another person, then it should be easy to smile at them, right?

That is all for now.

A fabulous floral frock

Makes me feel like I'm rolling around in a bed of flowers

A few months ago, I picked up yet another amazing dress from Value Village. It needed a little work... despite being a perfect fit otherwise, I couldn't zip it up past my ribcage, a problem that I seem to have all too often with older dresses. Nevertheless, I was undeterred. The bright watercolour pattern was bridging on obscene (in a good way), the length was perfect, and the shape was adorable. I had to add it to my collection. However, while I was in school it was forced to sit in my closet and wait.

How to close that up?

Since then, it has undergone numerous transformations, none of which are particularly exciting because they mostly just involve a reworking of the back zipper area. Originally, there was a zipper that went from the bum to the top of the dress, but that clearly wasn't working so first things first, I took that out. My initial idea was to replace it with a lace-up back, using a pale pink ribbon to tie it all together. The idea held a lot of promise, but unfortunately, after way too much work to sew in all the loopholes, I realized that it was just too long an area to lace. Getting in and out would be a nightmare and the tight bottom parts just looked messy.

So after undoing all my hard work there, I made my first right move and got a shorter zipper to cover the area that I wasn't having any trouble zipping up to begin with. Then I had the fantastic and easy idea of just sewing in a couple bands of elastic above the zipper, as pictured, leaving what I perceived to be plenty of stretch room for getting the dress on and off.

Solution?

Nope.

Getting the dress on was easy enough, and it looked pretty good. However, I soon realized that getting it off was not going to go quite as smoothly. In fact, it proved impossible and I had to grumble back to my seam ripper again and cut myself out. So much for that idea.

So much for that.

At this point I had spent way too much time on what should have been a relatively simple makeover, so I went back to the drawing board, angrily stitched on some loopholes and went for a zipper/lace-up combo, which was thankfully, FINALLY, effective! At least for a short period of use.

It could be improved but it was in wearing condition, which was good enough as I had decided to wear it for my pageant themed birthday party! Which was an absolutely amazing time. Much love to all who came out!

Cheers!