Adventures in Muffin-Making

So, I think I've established myself as a pretty good muffin-maker. Many muffins have I marvelously made from scratch over the years and there's definitely been more hits than misses. As a result, I feel that the risk of total failure is pretty low. However, be that as it may, I'm never quite sure what I'm getting into when I start throwing things into a bowl. This time was no different.

The story behind this recipe all started last year when my mom received a $24 box of hot chocolate from her employer, who said that it was just the most magnificent thing ever and she simply had to try it. It was Thomas Haas Aztec Chili Hot Chocolate, and the instructions called for a half cup of the mixture and a half cup of homogenized milk. Needless to say, it was barely liquid, uncomfortably spicy, and no one was very impressed. But my mom didn't want to waste it or admit to her boss that she hated it, so it sat around in the cupboard for a few months before she gave it to me for baking.

One of the first recipes I posted on here was for my Chuckleberry Chili muffins, which were my first attempt at baking with the chocolate-chili combo. Those were delish, but needed some revision so I tried to build this recipe somewhat off of that. Please note that I don't measure anything properly so the ingredients are mostly guesswork.

HOT COCOA CRAN-CHILI SPICE MUFFINS

2 cups flour

1.5 cups granulated sugar

3/4 cup Thomas Haas Aztec Hot Chocolate

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

dash of salt

1/2 tsp powdered cloves

*Optional 1/2 cup cocoa powder, not used in this recipe but would have made it better, IMHO

1 egg

1 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/8 cup chili oil

1/2 cup chopped cranberries (or more, depending on your preference)

a bit of maple syrup or brown sugar to sweeten

a bit of cinnamon

Ok. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Start by whipping out your cranberries. I had mine in the freezer beforehand, because I find it much easier to cut them into smaller pieces when they're good and firm. Just chop them in half, or thirds if you get some enormous cran-mutation. Dump those in a bowl, drizzle them with a bit of maple syrup or a tablespoon or so of brown sugar to sweeten them up a bit and mix in a bit of sassy cinnamon. Put them to the side for now.

In a large bowl, dump in all the ingredients from the first section: Your flour, your sugar, your unconventional hot chocolate mixture, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cloves. Combine. If you actually use the Thomas Haas mix (and you could definitely do this without) it should look something like a Shake and Bake mix with the little flecks of chocolate, etc. Don't be alarmed. This is normal. Also add the optional 1/2 cup of cocoa powder at this point if you're looking for something more chocolatey. The chocolateyness is minimal otherwise.

Now it's time to turn your Shake and Bake into a bowl of cement. Do this by adding the egg, milk, vegetable and chili oil. If you want less of a spicy aftertaste, go for less chili oil. Mix thoroughly, with passion. At this point you should be ready to add your saucy, sassy cinnamon cranberries. Toss those little minxes in! Give 'em a good stir! Lose them in that yummy, cementy, quicksand-like substance!

Your oven should be ready by now so just go on ahead and grease up a muffin pan (should make about 12) and slip them in the oven for about 20 minutes, or until ready. Just keep an eye on them, will you?

The results look something like banana muffins, but nothing could be farther from the truth. When you bite in, it's a cakey, spicy, chocolatey, cranberry sensation, and definitely a good way to use up some crappy hot chocolate. Not the best muffins I've ever made, but definitely among the most interesting!