Friday, August 24, 2012

First Steps

Alright folks, I see we're going to have to do this the hard way. I appreciate the silent nods of approval and the raised fists of solidarity that I can only imagine are being cast toward the screen, however, I can't help but notice the radio silence on skill offerings. Not a problem. I can seduce you later. In the meantime, out of the public eye, one lone hero has emerged from the shadows to participate in this process of mutual growth. That hero?

I made a gif. Is that a skill?

Sara has graciously offered to share her paleo-cooking and urban foraging skills in exchange for an extra pair of eyes to go over an article she's going to submit about her personal story with the paleo diet (an excellent read, by the way, which I'll hopefully be able share when it's published!). We haven't had a chance to get together yet but I'm certain that the experience will be nourishing on numerous platforms.

In the past week or so, I've been working on that whole goal-setting thing. In a nutshell, what I want comes down to this: To be self-sufficient (including financially), more fit, and good at stuff. Is there a particular culture where vagueness is prized? Perhaps I should consider joining it. 

For the good at stuff bit, I started making a list of specific skills or tasks that I wanted to be able to complete. I feel like an appropriate place to start from that list is to create a customized blog design. Presumably for this blog. But we'll see. I haven't really taken any strides with that one, besides writing it on my freshly inaugurated "Goal Board".

In regards to fitness, I slapped down a goal of losing 5lbs. As I've already said to some of you in person, this is not because I'm particularly interested in losing any weight. I've been stable since high school minus one chubby sausage-bread-and-yogourt-filled year in Germany, so I've never really felt a strong desire to mess with that consistency. However, since (let's be honest) I don't plan to make many (or any) changes to my dietary habits, losing 5lbs becomes a measurable benchmark that is only surmountable by increased fat-burning activities! So I've created a bit of an exercise schedule for myself. Thus far, I've kept to it about 50% of the time. It's a start.

Finally, in terms of self-sufficiency, the main goal for now is this: GET A JOB. I've certainly been working the hardest at making this goal, yet it's probably the goal that I spent the least time setting. I could probably stand to clarify the terms of this prize and lay out the pathway to it, because evidently, I haven't had much luck so far. However, I'm still hoping to hear back from some promising applications. If you or anyone you know would like to hire me, do drop a line! I get shit done. 

Until next time, folks!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Resurrection


Two years ago, I started this blog because I lacked practical skills. I thought that public documentation of this would perhaps motivate me to become better at things on my own, or failing that, that someone might at least come along and suggest a skill for me to acquire in order to have something to work towards. I was hoping to be held brutally accountable for any such utterance that suggested a target of personal growth.

Well, I never seemed to figure out what 'things' I wanted to be better at, and I never gave anyone a reason to engage with the project on a level deeper than "occasional skimming", so obviously, none of my goals ever came to fruition. Now, two years later, I've officially graduated and discarded the "I'm too busy with school" excuse for not learning anything independently, and as I'm searching for careers with a shopping cart full of soft skills and empty basket of technical proficiencies, it saddens me to recognize that I saw this train wreck coming with plenty of time to reroute the tracks. I definitely could have been a whiz at something by now.

Le sigh. Yet, here we are.

So I'm thinking it's time to try this again. I'm in a similar position to where I was the first time around: defeated, lost, and almost entirely lacking in money and resources. However, where I once had upcoming semesters and perceived future learning experiences, I now have nothing but space and time spread out before me, waiting to be filled with adventure and learning. I haven't just been twiddling my thumbs - I recently started doing yoga on YouTube and  signed up for some Skillshare classes on basic entrepreneurialism. Given everything else I've seen, it seems like it should be possible to learn absolutely flipping anything on the Internet. Piece of cake.

But, ACCOUNTABILITY. It'll be all about picking something manageable (and ideally transferable) and committing myself to achieving a specific, concrete goal. (Please note the irony in this vague generalization.)

To avoid becoming a total web-hermit and double the accountability, however, the most excellent manifestation of this endeavor would be if someone (like YOU!) were willing to teach me one of their own skills. I am eager and open to trade. I can currently offer baking, academic paper writing, and basic recorder and bass guitar. My offerings will increase as yours do.

That being said, I think it's far and away past time that I start taking a little more responsibility for myself. If you won't make these connections with me, then so help me, I will force myself upon you. But gently. And with compassion. You'll like it.

And so, it is with lingering hesitation but no clear intention that I now conclude this entry, already feeling pressured by this public declaration in spite of the fact that I have not yet offered any apparent plan of action.

Let's call that Week 2.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Adventures in Muffin-Making

So, I think I've established myself as a pretty good muffin-maker. Many muffins have I marvelously made from scratch over the years and there's definitely been more hits than misses. As a result, I feel that the risk of total failure is pretty low. However, be that as it may, I'm never quite sure what I'm getting into when I start throwing things into a bowl. This time was no different.

The story behind this recipe all started last year when my mom received a $24 box of hot chocolate from her employer, who said that it was just the most magnificent thing ever and she simply had to try it. It was Thomas Haas Aztec Chili Hot Chocolate, and the instructions called for a half cup of the mixture and a half cup of homogenized milk. Needless to say, it was barely liquid, uncomfortably spicy, and no one was very impressed. But my mom didn't want to waste it or admit to her boss that she hated it, so it sat around in the cupboard for a few months before she gave it to me for baking.

One of the first recipes I posted on here was for my Chuckleberry Chili muffins, which were my first attempt at baking with the chocolate-chili combo. Those were delish, but needed some revision so I tried to build this recipe somewhat off of that. Please note that I don't measure anything properly so the ingredients are mostly guesswork.

HOT COCOA CRAN-CHILI SPICE MUFFINS

2 cups flour
1.5 cups granulated sugar
3/4 cup Thomas Haas Aztec Hot Chocolate
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
dash of salt
1/2 tsp powdered cloves
*Optional 1/2 cup cocoa powder, not used in this recipe but would have made it better, IMHO

1 egg
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/8 cup chili oil

1/2 cup chopped cranberries (or more, depending on your preference)
a bit of maple syrup or brown sugar to sweeten
a bit of cinnamon

Ok. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Start by whipping out your cranberries. I had mine in the freezer beforehand, because I find it much easier to cut them into smaller pieces when they're good and firm. Just chop them in half, or thirds if you get some enormous cran-mutation. Dump those in a bowl, drizzle them with a bit of maple syrup or a tablespoon or so of brown sugar to sweeten them up a bit and mix in a bit of sassy cinnamon. Put them to the side for now.

In a large bowl, dump in all the ingredients from the first section: Your flour, your sugar, your unconventional hot chocolate mixture, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cloves. Combine. If you actually use the Thomas Haas mix (and you could definitely do this without) it should look something like a Shake and Bake mix with the little flecks of chocolate, etc. Don't be alarmed. This is normal. Also add the optional 1/2 cup of cocoa powder at this point if you're looking for something more chocolatey. The chocolateyness is minimal otherwise.


Now it's time to turn your Shake and Bake into a bowl of cement. Do this by adding the egg, milk, vegetable and chili oil. If you want less of a spicy aftertaste, go for less chili oil. Mix thoroughly, with passion. At this point you should be ready to add your saucy, sassy cinnamon cranberries. Toss those little minxes in! Give 'em a good stir! Lose them in that yummy, cementy, quicksand-like substance!

Your oven should be ready by now so just go on ahead and grease up a muffin pan (should make about 12) and slip them in the oven for about 20 minutes, or until ready. Just keep an eye on them, will you?

The results look something like banana muffins, but nothing could be farther from the truth. When you bite in, it's a cakey, spicy, chocolatey, cranberry sensation, and definitely a good way to use up some crappy hot chocolate. Not the best muffins I've ever made, but definitely among the most interesting!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Five Things Regarding Public Courtesy

Disclaimer: The following views reflect my own perceptions of what should and should not be acceptable in the culture and society in which I live, but may be deemed perfectly appropriate in others.

First thing: Women's washrooms.

Why, women, do you pee on the seat? Is it because you squat awkwardly above the toilet instead of sit on it? And why do you do that? Because there's pee on the seat? It won't kill you to sit on the seat, but if you can't manage that, it won't kill you to clean up after yourself when you're done making a mess. You'll be washing your hands shortly. Which, by the way, you should be doing regularly regardless of what you touch in the stall, so don't think you can get away with leaving before completing this crucial step.

And as you could even do it with your foot, what could possibly be your excuse for failing to flush?

Second thing: Old people on the skytrain.

Particularly during rush hour commutes, the whole "courtesy seat" thing kind of goes out the window. Sure, some older people are fine with standing and they might even be offended if you insist they take your spot (though it's generally still best to offer). But I'm not talking about older people, I'm talking about OLD people. The Elderly. On a few occasions, I have seen elderly people who are clearly having challenges walking and possibly standing have to stumble through half a train car before someone - myself, if not someone before me - gives up their seat. That's messed up, bro.

Third thing: Appropriate places to cut your nails

There are several options. Some include: In the bathroom, in your room, in your backyard, in a ravine, in a crevasse, or anywhere else where you would generally be alone. Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, appropriate places do NOT include public transit.

Fourth thing: Translink

Dear Translink: You are generally all but useless outside of Vancouver proper. Even in that region, your prime services have a curfew. In these changing times, you have consistently failed to keep up. Many people have wondered, and continue to wonder, why the skytrain is not open, even on a bi-hourly or hourly basis, for the entire night. We would only expect this for Friday, Saturday, and perhaps special events. Is this too much to ask? If so, then surely it is not too much to ask that if you must shut down services on a nightly basis, to perform track maintenance during that time? Why must you inconvenience the public in every way possible? You managed to figure out a way to scrape together some money for the Evergreen line - Use it to improve the services you already have.

Fifth thing: Smile.

Now this is something I really need to work on. I have a very well-developed "transit scowl" that has sort of replaced my "relaxed face", and while it seems to keep me from being approached by anyone, good or bad, I know I feel better when I see people smiling or happy, so I should try to do the same. The trick is learning to do it unconsciously, lest some awkward situations occur. I may have accidentally flashed a few "I want to wear your skin" smiles in my life. But if you make eye contact, get a door held open for you, hold open a door for someone else, otherwise make non-violent contact with another person, then it should be easy to smile at them, right?

That is all for now.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A fabulous floral frock



Makes me feel like I'm rolling around in a bed of flowers

A few months ago, I picked up yet another amazing dress from Value Village. It needed a little work... despite being a perfect fit otherwise, I couldn't zip it up past my ribcage, a problem that I seem to have all too often with older dresses. Nevertheless, I was undeterred. The bright watercolour pattern was bridging on obscene (in a good way), the length was perfect, and the shape was adorable. I had to add it to my collection. However, while I was in school it was forced to sit in my closet and wait.

How to close that up?

Since then, it has undergone numerous transformations, none of which are particularly exciting because they mostly just involve a reworking of the back zipper area. Originally, there was a zipper that went from the bum to the top of the dress, but that clearly wasn't working so first things first, I took that out. My initial idea was to replace it with a lace-up back, using a pale pink ribbon to tie it all together. The idea held a lot of promise, but unfortunately, after way too much work to sew in all the loopholes, I realized that it was just too long an area to lace. Getting in and out would be a nightmare and the tight bottom parts just looked messy.

So after undoing all my hard work there, I made my first right move and got a shorter zipper to cover the area that I wasn't having any trouble zipping up to begin with. Then I had the fantastic and easy idea of just sewing in a couple bands of elastic above the zipper, as pictured, leaving what I perceived to be plenty of stretch room for getting the dress on and off.

Solution?
Nope.

Getting the dress on was easy enough, and it looked pretty good. However, I soon realized that getting it off was not going to go quite as smoothly. In fact, it proved impossible and I had to grumble back to my seam ripper again and cut myself out. So much for that idea.

So much for that.

At this point I had spent way too much time on what should have been a relatively simple makeover, so I went back to the drawing board, angrily stitched on some loopholes and went for a zipper/lace-up combo, which was thankfully, FINALLY, effective! At least for a short period of use.


It could be improved but it was in wearing condition, which was good enough as I had decided to wear it for my pageant themed birthday party! Which was an absolutely amazing time. Much love to all who came out!

Cheers!

Monday, August 29, 2011

The Hunger Games

During the few weeks I have without any textbooks or papers to worry about, I try to take advantage of the rare freedom to read whatever I damn well please. Last week, I indulged in The Hunger Games trilogy. It was quite the enthralling tale, however, a few things keep nagging at me so I thought, what better place than a near-abandoned blog to get it out in the open? Spoilers follow, so I'd avoid reading further if you haven't finished all three.

Admittedly, I was skeptical from the outset, before I had even opened the first installment. For some reason, the favourable testimonials plastered on the back cover from Stephen King and Stephanie Meyer did not fill me with a great deal of confidence. To be honest, I'm still not entirely sure what I think. Entertaining? Yes. Hollow and annoying at times? That too.

Based on what I know about the Twilight series, I can see why Meyer liked it. Both series share the withholding of sex as a major point of tension, and in The Hunger Games, the mere suggestion of sex occurs only within the confines of marriage, which is, of course, strictly of the heterosexual variety. That narrative plays itself out and unsurprisingly reinforces itself within the neat little package of the epilogue. Another similarity is Collins' portrayal a young woman waffling between two young men with the belief that she needs to choose one of them. That being said, there are some obvious differences. Collins' Katniss is certainly not a passive character. To the contrary, she is a constant source of action, which is enhanced by the author's choice of narrative style, and she certainly doesn't fit into the traditional mold of what a young woman should be. However, even so, it would be difficult to describe Katniss as a feminist character, as it often seems that she's unable to make a decision without being informed by a man (her father, Gale, Peeta, Haymitch, Cinna, Boggs, Finnick, Snow, etc.). It's also somewhat suspect that on the rare occasions in which Katniss confides in and trusts the advice of another female, they tend to be killed (Rue, Prim), though, to be fair, a lot of men she trusts are killed as well. If there's any reasoning to be found for Katniss' comparative closeness to the males within the story, we can justifiably assume that her actions are probably dictated by her desire to regain the relationship she lost when her father was killed in the mining accident, at which point, by no coincidence, both Gale and Peeta first step into Katniss' life. In the brief period following the accident when Katniss assumes the role of provider for her family, before meeting either of the two boys, she shows tremendous strength, resilience and determination, and yet, as she repeats in hindsight, she could not have survived without the help of Gale and Peeta. This might not even be a problem, except that this series seems to me to disguise itself as something of a girl-power epic. But once again, in an arena even larger than the world contained within the book, it seems Katniss is just another figurehead for the ideologies of someone else.

Aside from my discomfort with the conservative subtexts, another theme I found moderately bothersome was the thinly veiled undertone of present-resentment. A finger of blame continually rises off the page and trains itself squarely at me as the cause of the dystopian disaster called Panem. I minded it less as it grumbled along quietly under the pages but was outright irritated at the end of Chapter 6 in Mockingjay, when it was evidently decided that the message was not yet clear enough: "Frankly, our ancestors don't seem much to brag about. I mean, look at the state they left us in, with the wars and the broken planet. Clearly, they didn't care about what would happen to the people who came after them". Loaded statements to say the least, and it's not that I don't agree with the sentiment behind them, but I feel the conclusions would be better observed if the reader was left to arrive at them himself. On top of that, it seems almost paradoxical to question the state of the world within a book that is, indeed, quite entertaining for the very reasons the indulgent citizens of the Capitol find the perverse tradition of the Hunger Games so intriguing. We are certainly meant to draw parallels there, which we can take to our lives outside of the book, but I also can't help but feel slightly conflicted about my life inside of the book, wondering what kind of person is captivated by the seemingly endless murders of children. The books do invite a good deal of reflection but is it valuable reflection? Or will it only breed a new generation of Twi-hards whose main source of concern is whether they are Team Gale or Team Peeta? With the first Hunger Games movie slated for release next year, it will certainly be interesting to see.

The books are an easy, interesting read, and the plot will keep you turning the pages. I'm still on the fence as to whether I'd give them a thumbs up or thumbs down. Maybe one of each. But I suppose I recommend giving them a chance. Something to think about, anyways.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Another entry without pictures.

In the past few weeks, I feel like I've been thrust into an entirely different world, where violent rapids of ideas are shooting past in every direction, leaving me more or less raped of coherence and expected to deal with the erratic mess of thoughts that flop feebly around my ankles. And for weeks I've been asking myself, "How am I supposed to rope all of these in?"

Well, maybe, as Claudia H. Johnson suggests, "it's about connection".

I used Johnson's textbook, "Crafting Short Screenplays that Connect", for a creative writing course I took last semester. While it provided a wealth of interesting and occasionally useful insights in regards to writing a script, the main argument she presents - that connection is more important than conflict - is of little help to an inexperienced writer, and I found it difficult to take this "touchy-feely" approach seriously. However, when I went back to school this term and entered into an entirely new field of study which somehow encompassed everything that I'd ever done before, I started to get all "touchy-feely" myself.

Life, life as I know it, is connection. It's connection to ourselves, to our environments, and to other people. It's a series of shared experiences and a journey towards that inextinguishable high that some people get from God, others from love, and others still from crack, or what have you. I've been constantly re-evaluating my life for some time now and a lot of the reason for that is because I do feel disconnected. I recently made a personal commitment to buckle down and finish my degree before taking any more time off, meaning full-time school, year-round. But only a few short months into that commitment, and I'm already wondering how I'll manage to preserve my sanity. I know how lucky and privileged I am to have access to all of the social and economic resources that I do. But everyone has their own struggles, and I'm just communicating mine. And mine, is largely a concern of time.

With the addition of an extra course to my regular load of 3 (I know, I'm such a princess), I've already noticed a rapid decline in the amount of "free" time that I have, particularly with 3 of those being heavy in readings, and me being a slow reader. All of a sudden, every activity is taking longer, and the space it occupies is time that I would otherwise use to sleep (as in now). Campus is farther (more time), I no longer have a car (more time), I have two jobs (more time), and amidst all that, I still have a crowd of friends and family going through hard times that I'd really like to be there for.

I like school. That, in and of itself, is like an extremely condensed vessel of experiences, and if my years were unlimited, I would take it one course at a time, forever. Or maybe two, just to be sure I took it a little seriously. Sadly, time touches me in this sense as well, as in the sense that all upstanding members of society need to earn their living, and that takes time, and increasingly more time, as population goes up and cost of living goes up and retirement goes down and takes the job market with it. It is perhaps because of this market that university expectations are so high (in some ways), and yet it is to their own detriment that students may acquire an incredible breadth of knowledge but fail to specialize in any functional way due to the sheer amount of information that's now available to them. It's the blessing and curse of the "information age", and it's probably the reason why a BA is hardly a step above yesterday's GED.

Speaking of the information age, technology also has an ever-increasing role in time, and functions in an odd way with connection. In terms of time, we need only look at the amount of TV the average household watches, or how often they surf the web. Or forget the web, just Facebook or Twitter. Or forget the household, and make it just me. In any case, it's a lot, and in most cases it's a lot more than we think. Constant "connectivity" is actually a disconnection, if not from people, then from anything that might otherwise hold your attention. Smartphones, regular cell phones, tablet and laptop computers... More people than ever before are in possession of at least one of these. And just because you can be connected, a small part of your brain will wonder if you will be. Nick Carr discusses distraction and a lot of other interesting aspects of modern technology in this lecture, the most interesting parts of which begin around 30 minutes in. He discusses at length the difficulty that humans have developed with deep focus as a result of these innovations. The loss of memory is particularly haunting, and frighteningly true. Just a few hours ago, I received a text message, a late response to a text "conversation" my friend and I had been having earlier. Because I had to empty my inbox to make more space sometime in between the initial conversation and the postponed remark (my phone is of the archaic "flip" variety, and caps text messages at about 100), I could not (and did not) remember what we were talking about.

Of course there are benefits to network communications. With unlimited texts, I can send messages to friends across the country free of extra cost at any time. With Skype, family members may be able to reconnect over insurmountable distances. And with Web 2.0, regular shmucks like me can share trivial perspectives and snapshots of our daily realities with anyone who cares to peruse them. I read an article that called the events in Tunisia the result of the first "Twitter revolution". Needless to say, my interest was piqued, and I decided to join Twitter some days later. Today, having witnessed the global spread of re-tweets from Egypt, I imagine this is a valid argument. This blog entry probably won't "go viral", but it's still a kind of catharsis for me, and who knows, I have 4 followers - I might connect with one of them.

But whether or not I do, this kind of connection is certainly not a replacement for the more tactile, personal connection that people get from being in the physical presence of one another. My most fulfilling relationships remain those that have been nurtured - literally - hand in hand. When I've had the worst day in the world, I'll go out for tea with a good friend, and nothing about that day changes, but I go home feeling better.

According to Edward Hall, my discomfort and feeling of disassociation may be related to his hypothesis of Monochronic and Polychronic time. M-time and P-time, as he calls them, may as well stand for masculine and plural. Monochronic time is what he describes as linear, task-oriented time, and he associates it with men because of the convention of the "working man", who was created by the mechanical clock. Polychronic time is more "people-centered" and flexible in nature, putting the immediate welfare of one's personal relations above any other task at hand. However, this idea of monochronic time is the dominant perception of time in North American culture, and Hall suggests that it is because of this that women (naturally housewives, therefore polychronic beings and walking hazards of emotion) are statistically more depressed in our society.

Hall's argument is often sexist and sometimes racist, but it's an interesting way to consider time, and even certain cultures. As Hall states, the two "types" of time may be used in conjunction by a society in specific aspects of life, but they do not mix. One of the examples given was to imagine a polychronic person making a dentist appointment. At the last moment, an out of town friend arrives and announces they want to meet for lunch. The polychronic person naturally skips their appointment, and has to wait something like 3 weeks before they can get another one. In North American society, this tends to be frowned upon, particularly by the white majority towards immigrant groups who employ this practice. Perhaps, in some ways, rightly so, because it's true that the system is ineffective if not engaged by all. But it's worth noting that neither is necessarily better or worse, only different.

But it's differences like these, differences which completely alter our paradigm, that make it so difficult to change the world. Social and technological sustainability, and for that matter, environmental, economic and political sustainability are such grandiose notions, on which so many people have so much to say, that's it's simply impossible to obtain a globally unified perspective (or at least a majority) on any one issue because there's simply too much to focus on. The world is like an orphanage on fire and how can you say which child to save first? The best we can do (perhaps) is to choose our battles and stick to our guns. I don't know how effective is it to have 10% of the world as model citizens for reducing the carbon footprint while the rest of the population uses even more energy and makes more garbage than ever. But the remaining 90% may be worried about disaster relief or disaster preparation or famine or the local economy or the welfare of gorillas or whatever else. And they're all good causes, and no one's efforts will likely hurt the overall state of affairs, it just seems that any one thing could only be implemented fully and completely with global participation.

For the most part, we can settle with a job half done. After all, if we didn't have some people drowned or buried or burnt or starved or just plain handed their ticket to the Darwin Awards, then we'd be worse off still. We egotistical beings don't like to think of ourselves as numbers, and I, as much as anyone, would prefer not to be crushed to death by the roof of my own home in the event of an earthquake, however, there are already too many people in the world. The economy is suffering, and if or when disaster strikes in our all-powerful 'developed' nations, then we not only have to recover billions of dollars in damaged infrastructure, but we also have to commit to the welfare of the thousands who survived because of that exorbitant infrastructure.

This may seem somewhat lacking in compassion and admittedly steers away from the topic of connection, but I think it's true. I'm certainly not suggesting that people stop helping the earthquake victims in Haiti, nor that we revisit anything like the Holocaust. And I understand that population control hasn't generally been very effective. I, personally, will not have children, but that's an easy call for me to make, because I don't want children anyways. I understand that not everyone will be able to make that choice, for reasons that may have nothing to do with preference.

But that could open up a whole 'nother can of worms.

The point is, if there's one thing that we need to get across to each person on the planet, it is that each of us has a social responsibility. Communications theorist and possible lunatic Marshall McLuhan expresses it succinctly (in the 60's): "In our own time most of us have grown so accustomed to the life of each for himself that is is difficult for us to understand that for the greater part of man's history every man of necessity lived a life of involvement in the welfare of his fellows" (War and Peace in the Global Village). Like it or not, we're all stuck here together, and each of us are in some way responsible for one another. The information age has given us a lot more to know about, but I don't know if we're actually doing anything about it.

And this is what worries me about school. I've quit one of my jobs, interestingly, the more solitary one, at the risk of incurring student loans in future semesters, in order to fully immerse myself in my studies. And I do this, at times. But as school itself becomes less of a social institution, and breaks are spent texting rather than chatting with your neighbour (which is now weird and potentially threatening, as I have learned), then I worry that I will become a sort of disconnected drone, who may write many passionate blog entries on a variety of global plights, but then fall victim to the unconscious mindset of many: There's so many people in the world... someone else will do it.

Not true.

But who even has time to think about all this?

I admit to having no solution for the problems at hand. Like most other people, I'm more worried about the things that immediately affect me. But maybe I can start there. As a baby step, I will do what I can to make sure that my close relationships remain in the forefront of my priorities, and that university remains a social experience. In this way, maybe not only I, but others, will maintain that critical connection and thereby acquire a natural sense of social responsibility. If we want to be a little more polychronic, there's only a rush as we see fit; the important thing is the goal, and that it gets done. Some of our actions may transcend our own lives and we may not live to see our ambitions realized. You might see that as blind faith, a relay that may never end, but unless we're doing something totally unvalidated ("Turning the mattress on the 43rd minute of the 19th hour each day will prevent the volcano from erupting!") then I doubt our descendants will hate us for it. They might even applaud our spunk.

That is, if they still applaud anything then. If they still even speak to each other. Sigh.

Anyways, thanks for listening. I'd love to hear your comments.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dabble in Dance



So you see, I haven't entirely given up on this blog! At least not the idea behind it. The past month or so, between scads of homework, work, and personal crises, I haven't had time for much, but I have squeezed in roughly an hour and a half every Monday for a hip-hop class.

This fact was greeted to shock and dismay by many of my friends and acquaintances as I am a) not into hip hop music, b) not into dance, and c) criminally uncoordinated. But in spite of all those things, I'M DOIN' IT! And you know what, it's really fun. I'm taking the class with a couple friends, which helps, but the moves and the workout are really satisfying in and of themselves. I was discussing with a classmate today how dance is stimulating for both mind and body. As beginners, criminally uncoordinated ones to boot, it takes an incredible amount of focus to remember the steps in our routines, much less execute them in a manner that does not look entirely ridiculous or result in the injury of ourselves or passers-by. So it gives you the opportunity to free your mind of all its current troubles, whilst releasing all those lovely endorphins from the exercise. Hello, stress relief!


I still have two left feet and sometimes it seems like an overabundance of arms flailing about, but I am learning the steps, I'm totally sold on dance, and I'm even starting to like some of the songs we dance to. Last Monday, we did a particularly satisfying routine, which was created by choreographers Napoleon and Tabitha for National Dance Day, and is viewable for your own learning pleasure HERE! It's upbeat, it's fun, and the song is catchy! I still cringe when I hear the title ("Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida) but so long as I avoid the lyrics, I enjoy the beat.

I'm not gonna say everyone can do this, but I will say that there were more than 1 unlikely cases in my class, and we're all doing just fine. I think it's worth a try. Sign up for a dance class, or sign up for any sort of class or activity at a community center for that matter. There's a million more things I would have done if I had more time and money. One's a start, though.

The current session goes for another couple of weeks, and I've already decided that I'd like to continue if there's another session in 2011. I've also got a friend interested in ballroom dancing, so who knows? If I keep this up, maybe someday I'll be able to walk down a whole set of stairs without falling!

Screams in the valley

Why can't I just sit still?

This semester has possibly been the longest, hardest, most emotional and frustrating few months of my life. The whole year hasn't been for me, and it's been downright awful for a lot of my close friends as well. I can't help but get this feeling of impending doom.

I know negativity isn't the answer, in fact, it's probably a large part of the problem and something that I have personally drenched people in on many occasions. But I like to think that there's a lot of compassion in people, and how can you stay positive when day in and out, you watch misery after misery befall the ones you love? It's difficult, is all. It's easier not to care, but then where do you find yourself? Who are we but the imprint that we leave on others? There's so many people, so many problems, and we're lazy. I need to practice positivity. I need to get myself out of this funk, I need to get my generation out of this funk. I need to blow more bubbles, dance more, sing more, offer the cover of my umbrella to more people standing in the rain. Random acts of kindness change the world.

I often find myself trapped in a vicious battle between self-loathing and narcissism, particularly when it comes to stuff like "good deeds". When I feel I've done something particularly "good", I get an enormous amount of self-satisfaction and then feel extraordinarily guilty for my undoubtedly selfish reasons for performing said deed. Similarly, I think we all encounter situations in which we believe ourselves to be the moral/emotional/mental/physical superior of others. And even when something rolls along and reminds me how small and insignificant I am, I sometimes feel simultaneously shattered and yet smug that I should be so insightful as to come to this realization. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself as if I'm not myself, and I just think, "What an ugly girl". On some nights, I cry myself to sleep like an infant for reasons I can't articulate, and tell myself that no one understands. But people do understand. I talk to them about it and it sounds petty and childish. Many things, when I finally get the nerve to talk about them, are petty and childish. The words begin to lose shape and integrity as they fall out of my mouth and 9 times out of 10 the statement has turned into a shared joke before I've reached the end of it. I think it's about perspective.

But falling into that pattern of self love/hate nevertheless puts an itch in my heart that only the strong winds of change can scratch. For as long as I can remember, I've acted out against depression. Many of these actions have been hair-related. I've chopped off all my hair several times and dyed it almost every colour of the rainbow to fight constancy. I've quit school to work. I've quit work to travel Europe and live in Germany. While in Germany, I chopped off my hair myself, for the first time. I also took several impractical, impromptu trips to Sweden, in pursuit of adventure and a doomed romance. After that, I bungee-jumped 180 meters off of a parasail. You get the picture.

Now that I've upped the ante, a haircut alone just doesn't do it anymore. But I'm at that place, the eye of the storm, the calm that follows the chaos and inevitably precedes more chaos, and I can't stand it. I want adventure, intrigue. I think we'd all be better people if we had a little more of it. But it just gets harder and harder to get that satisfaction. I don't have money. I don't have a lot of time. I need people, and a storyline, and a reason to keep turning the pages. I want to be excited about life again! My friend and I spoke a few days ago about how we used to have sleepovers. We would stay up all night talking about our lives, loves, beliefs (in elementary fashion) and whatever else the time called for. Now, if we stay anywhere together, we just sleep. For so long, there were things that could only be said in the darkness and quiet safety of night. What can we say now? What else can we discover? What else should we discover?

I think if we were all truly honest and frank with one another, then we could learn a lot more about people in general, but it's hard to be that honest. Especially if you don't know what you're being honest about. If you stuck any two people in a room for 3 days, what would they find out about each other? Would anything besides small talk even come up? I guess it depends on the people, but I've always been curious as to how I would react in that situation. I'd almost like to try it. I'm completely useless at articulating myself on the fly, and I'm a terrible conversationalist in any and all regards, but I would want so badly to take advantage of the opportunity that I wonder if I could overcome it. Sometimes I just think it would be amazing to have that chance to talk, really talk, with someone that you never would have been able to/thought to otherwise.

Realistically, I have a feeling that if I were in that situation, we might get as far as names of immediate family members by day 3. I can be cripplingly shy. Everything I've written here, just now... I wouldn't say it aloud to most people. I couldn't even read it off the page. I'm trying to be honest right now, and it's really difficult for me to put that much of myself out there. I'm always kind of worried about weirding people out.

Sigh. It's late, and I'm not even sure what I'm talking about anymore. I guess what I'm saying is, I want to cut my hair, take another road trip to the island and end up stuck somewhere with a friend/stranger for several days with no outside contact. That's totally normal, right?

Don't be alarmed. Goodnight.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Lemon Vegan Cheesecake

This picture is totally unrelated to the following entry.

Ok, I admit that I'll probably continue to neglect this blog and only update on a sporadic basis. I've had half an entry on my road trip sitting in my draft box for weeks, and I'm not entirely sure I'll ever finish it. But I promise you, this vital recipe will very nearly atone for my lack of dedication.


Chances are fairly good, in today's environmentally trendy world, that you are associated with at least one person who is, or tells people they are vegan. If not that, then you certainly know someone who's body just can't deal with the dairy. Lactose intolerance is quite common in many world cultures, so if you don't know either of these people yet, you will.




SITUATION!

Said person is coming over for a dinner party! The main course? Psh, no problem, you've got a wicked vegetable curry up your sleeve. But what are you going to do for dessert?! Your aunt Gertrude made a fierce cheesecake, and you really want to share that joy with your calcium deprived comrades!

Impossible, right?


WRONG.


Vegan cheesecake is one thing. But vegan cheesecake approved by a genuine cheesecake lover? That is an entirely different story. That is the story I'm going to tell you today. The title?

The Mystical Lemon Vegan Cheesecake of Wonders

It started out with a simple vegan cheesecake recipe I found online. It was quick and easy, and reasonably tasty, but it was just so...vegan. The texture was too airy and there was a slight soy aftertaste. It was good, but it wasn't cheesecake. To be honest, this recipe still isn't cheesecake. If I had chosen to opt for pricey "wannabe dairy" products like Tofutti's Better Than Cream Cheese, maybe we would be a little closer to the real thing, but until I modify this recipe further, this is a good alternative that won't make your vegan feel like they're cheating.

So this is what you need:

500 g medium smooth tofu
1/2 cup coconut milk
2/3 cup sugar
1 tbsp lemon zest
juice of one lemon
Optional:
1/4 cup of flour, depending on your preferred firmness
Add a little lime juice

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (175 Celsius).

The crust is a graham cracker crust. For a 9" cake, I used a heaping cup of crumbs, mixed with a couple tablespoons brown sugar, a dash of cinnamon, a pinch of salt, and just enough canola oil to give me some fairly large clumps. Then just dump it all in your chosen pan (a springform works nicely for cheesecakes) and press it flat against the bottom, as evenly as you can. My crust was still a bit crumbly, so next time I might try replacing the sugar with maple syrup, and hopefully that will improve the consistency.

The rest is as simple as accumulating all the ingredients and throwing them in the blender! Dry off your tofu in a paper towel, and cut it into some manageable chunks. Everything else, just toss it in on top.

The coconut milk is key to this recipe. I saw a lot of recipes with soy milk, but soy milk lacks both the neutral taste and the creamy texture that coconut milk provides. It does contain saturated fats, but in small amounts that are supposedly beneficial to your health, so while you wouldn't want to drink it, it's perfect for adding richness to vegan cooking or baking.

Once blended, your ingredients should resemble a thick pudding. Feel free to taste at this point to see if it needs more of anything. If it's too runny, add some flour.


When you are sufficiently pleased with your mixture, pour it onto your pressed crust and pop it into your preheated oven. If you are using a springform pan, I would recommend placing it on top of another baking pan, in case any oil or liquid leaks through and causes a smoky, smelly mess. Leave it in the oven for about 50 minutes, or until lightly browned around the edges, and then take it out to cool. Then refrigerate for at least a couple of hours before serving. It's lovely on it's own or with some fresh berries or sauce to top it off!


If you want more of a New York style cheesecake, take out the lemon, add the flour, add more sugar (maybe brown sugar?) with a bit of vanilla extract. Try it with an oreo crust! Or try a different flavor! Mango would be nice. But whatever you do, try it! Even if you're not vegan, or lactose intolerant, it never hurts to expand your horizons.

Voila! Bon appetit!

**UPDATE: This tastes even better after a couple of days in the refrigerator!**

Sunday, September 5, 2010

So busy...




A great number of this and thats have been keeping me from the excitement of the blogosphere lately. Tea parties, road trips, birthdays, and returning to school and work, it's enough to drive a girl batty!

So where to start?

Well, the first item on the list was the tea party, so let's start with that.

A number of factors played a role in my decision to throw a tea party. One of those was the unfortunate fact that I had hosted one in January to much acclaim, but two of my good friends missed out on it due to attending a university located on the other side of the country. With both of them home, and one of them working the local tea circuit during the summer, it seemed only too appropriate to make it up to them.



Another reason was that I found this incredible handmade spearmint candy-coloured ice-cream parlour party dress at the thrift store, which needed a little bit of alteration but more importantly an occasion to be proudly displayed. Such handiwork shouldn't be so lightly cast away to the bins. Although I'm fortunate it was.





Third, I came across this post by effervescent baker and blogger Bria of These Peas Are Hollow, which refers to yet another blog, that of the creator of these marvelous, ridiculous, and delicious concoctions, Bakerella. The topic: Cake Pops. Yes, that's right. Cake, on a stick. A sinfully simple idea, transformed into an unimaginably complex and time-consuming process with Bakerella's countless adorable designs. Bria seems so far to have maintained a simple, elegant look for her pops, but added her own gourmet flare by experimenting with different homemade cakes and frostings (not to mention food colouring!). I knew I needed an occasion to try these as soon as I saw them, and what better place to serve such sweet morsels than alongside cups and saucers?








Speaking of sweet morsels... who ever heard of tea and quackers?





First things first, the alteration of the dress. I didn't do too much to it because it fortunately fit me quite well to begin with. It was just a bit too "Little House on the Prairie." I ripped off the top buttons and flattened out the panels into a sort of lapel, fluffed up the skirt with a few meters of net-like organza and threw on a few accessories. The waistline was just a bit higher than my natural waistline, which was slightly unflattering, but a thick belt over top seemed to do the trick. Someday I'd like to shorten it a bit and have a few layers of pink organza peeking out of the bottom and adding more *pouf*, but for now I'm leaving it as is.


Different options for accessorizing!

So when that was all taken care of, it was time to start thinking about what to serve at this party. As usual, I came up with a far-too-long list of appetizers and miniature desserts and managed to lock myself in a constant state of befrazzlement for a week as I tried to prepare.

Due to this, I decided that my first attempt at cake pops would employ the most rudimentary method to success, involving a boxed cake and canned frosting. I chose Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Chocolate Fudge cake and Betty Crocker's Buttercream frosting. But, as Bria shows us, the possibilities are almost endless.

I won't waste too much time going over what others have already explained so well, but in a nutshell: Bake cake. Cool cake. Crumble cake into a bowl. Add frosting. Roll cake into small balls and place on wax paper. Chill. Dip lollipop sticks in Candy melts before securing sticks in cake balls. Chill/freeze for several hours.



When pops are sufficiently hardened, melt 1 package of Candy Melts as per the package directions. Take out pops, a few at a time, and gently dip them, tapping off the excess.




The result will be a taste sensation unlike any you have experienced before. Your taste buds won't know what to make of it.




In addition to those, I also made miniature cupcakes, Portuguese custard tarts, a fruit tray with chocolate fondue, jello kebabs, some boxed appies, cheese and crackers, a veggie tray, and some wraps. And tea. Most of which was supplied by David's Tea. If you live in Canada, go get some. If not, order some online and get your friends to do the same; big orders mean free shipping!



This was the final spread. Or just about, anyways. Threw on some jazzy tunes, opened the door, and I think everyone had themselves a darn good time! I did, anyways. Clean up went right into the a.m. and then I was up a few short hours later for some road-trippin' excitement! Perhaps I'll get into that next time.

Until then!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

BBQs and Party Dresses

So things already seem to be taking a turn for the boring here. I've been unusually occupied the past week or so, between pet/house sitting and actually getting work and having a social life every now and then (thanks to incessant whining to my friends and boyfriend... not that I promote that). Amidst all that, I've still been doing a fair amount of sewing, and baking, and even some cooking, but it's too late to photojournalize the cooking and baking adventures and I fear the sewing may get redundant. So, I'll just try and give the lowdown on a couple different things to keep it fresh.

1) BBQing

Yes, I am that girl. The portrait of a female stereotype, incompetent down to what is arguably the least manly of the manly tasks (only because it's food prep related). Ever since I was a child, it's always been my dear father firing up the grill, delivering us those most glorious of meats and proving his ultimate leadership in the familial hierarchy. For that alone I would have remained ever submissive, but alas, my independence has been granted, and learning to navigate this bull of a contraption takes me one step closer to validating my own authority over the ones that I love and care about. Also, I was house-sitting and really wanted a barbecued hot dog, so it had to be done.

There's not too much knowledge or technique I can impart for a hot dog. Lighting up the BBQ was simple enough, much like lighting a gas stove, only you have to remember to turn the gas on, and more importantly, off, when you're finished. I waited for it to heat up a bit, plopped some dogs down and played the waiting game. I generally enjoy my hot dogs blackened so there was really no way I could go wrong. I checked them every few minutes and flipped them around to get all the sides, and once I deemed them dark enough, they were as tasty as animal entrails in intestinal casing ever were. I like the classic mustard and relish on my dog, but on occasion, some fried onions or sauerkraut or cheese and bacon or chili and mozza will do nicely. Just for an extra dose of healthy.

Next stage: Kebabs.

2) Dressmaking

This wasn't really my idea. I got it from this person who probably got it from someone else. But she clearly knows what she's doing, and has a lot of great pictures to go along with it as well. So take a gander at her website. Things basically went according to plan. Get a fabric that has at least one way stretch, if not both, and is the same front and back, because a lot of twisting is involved in the final product. Cut your lines in the fabric as even and snag-free as possible, because they won't be getting hemmed.

One part that I remember reading and yet don't seem to see on the Rostitchery page is how to calculate your measurements. So, what you do is: Take the measurement for your natural waistline (the place where your waist is smallest), and divide that by approximately 3.14. That's the diameter of the circle that you're going to cut out for your waist line on the skirt. The size can be approximate but try to make it an even circle. I made a paper template to start, pinned it to the fabric and cut around that. Be fairly precise with the waistband as well, you can put an elastic band in there later if your measurements were off. I did that, and it seemed to turn out just fine!

Waist circle... pin fabric around the edges of the circle.

I would only recommend machine-washing this one if you put it in a laundry bag. Otherwise, the straps may get wound up and tear (far more likely if you're an amateur seamstress like myself), but it should be okay in a dryer. As usual, wash and dry your fabric before sewing to see what happens to it.

It's not actually uneven, i just threw it on the floor with little care of appearance.

3) Improvise cooking

I was told the other day that there's actually a Youtube channel dedicated to this same subject: the task of making dinner when you're low on groceries. I can't remember what the channel is called, but hearing about it reminded me very much of an experience I had earlier this week.

I had worked a 12 hour day in sweltering heat and came home ready to prowl the cupboards like some kind of ravenous beast, ingesting anything readily edible. But lo and behold, I opened the cupboards and there was barely anything there that could be willingly consumed without some kind of basic preparation. Largely because I wanted meat. And there was no way I was dragging myself out to the grocery store.

So, after some scrounging around in the freezer, I discovered a half-used package of ground pork and thought, "What can I do with this?" I had used the first part to make gyoza, but I was fresh out of dumpling wrappers, green onions, cabbage, and most everything else that would have allowed me to recreate that delectable dish. So then I thought tacos, but I didn't have taco shells. I DID, however, have a couple tortillas, so I decided to pursue something along those lines.

To be honest, I've never really made tacos that weren't founded by an Old El Paso Taco Kit. So I didn't really know what I was doing. But I knew that I had to use up the green pepper in the fridge, and I love onions, and pork and lime is a winning combination, and thus the basic formula was born. I cut up the green peppers and onions while letting the frying pan heat up with a bit of oil, then plopped the pork in and let it brown before draining some of the excess fat with a spoon. Then I chucked in the green peppers and onions and figured it could probably use some spice. So I hit up the fridge and cabinet. Lime juice? Defs. Garlic? For sure. Slightly aged tempura sauce? Why not? Add a pinch of salt, a blast of oregano, some chili powder, celery seed, cumin, and whatever else smells good and you will have yourself a delicious, meaty concoction.

After everything in the pan was done doing whatever it did, I still wasn't really sure how to go about consuming it. It seemed like there should be lettuce in the tortilla, but there was none of that around. Instead, I found some acceptable looking salsa and smeared that down the center, and it might have been perfect, had cheese been present. Alas, I was also sans fromage but still desperately required that cheddary zip to complete the mock-taco (maco?) combo.

Fortunately, for SOME REASON there was a large container of that disturbing cheese-flavoured powder hiding behind the milk. It is essentially like pouring the contents of the white package in Kraft Dinner directly onto your food. Only saltier. Ordinarily, I shudder at the thought, but at that moment, it was just what I needed. So I applied it (sparingly) over the salsa, hid it underneath a layer of meat, onions and peppers and dug in.

And you know what?

I'd say the green peppers actually brought it down. Yes, it was the one moderately healthy part of the meal, but (potentially for that reason) the flavours just didn't work together. Everything else tasted surprisingly fantastic (though real cheese would still have improved the situation). Since I had to use up the green peppers anyways, they were okay, but if I tried this again, I would just avoid falsely convincing myself of anything healthy about this dish in the first place.


You can tell I'm all about eating healthy.

Regardless, I still feel that I've learned something here. And I hope you have too. Even if that lesson is simply not to buy cheese-flavoured powder.

Happy Birthday! (whenever you have one)

Friday, July 9, 2010

Beating the heat

Last week, the Vancouver region was staring sullenly at the thermometer, watching the clouds roll by, layering clothing in naive anticipation of partial removal, and patiently wondering whether or when summer would come. And just as we all gave up on the idea, pulled out our Christmas sweaters and decided to wait for next year, summer seems to have jumped out of nowhere fallen flat on it's face at our doorsteps.


The 15 degrees Celsius of last week has more than doubled, and the air is thicker than this dog's fat skull.



That, by the way, is my sister's bullmastiff Kato, and best bud Delaney.

Anyways, for someone like me, who adjusts rather poorly to hot weather, it is necessary to find as many ways as possible to keep cool. So today I simply offer some suggestions.

Yesterday turned out fairly well for me. I started the day off with a cool shower, avoiding drying my hair despite the frizztastic quality it gets (fortunately it's long enough now that I can tie it up). I got in my non-air-conditioned vehicle for a grueling ride with a friend to Lynn Canyon, a heavily forested and deep trail within the mountain, serpentining alongside a wonderful, frigid river that I couldn't resist soaking my legs in for a while. We took some sandwiches and buckets of water along, and charged up as the clear, fresh water flowed past our feet.

After that, and another grueling car ride back home, we stopped for slushie beverages which I thoroughly enjoyed for about 4 sips before I proceeded to take a sharp turn and spill it all over my car. Fail. Good while it lasted, though.

When I got home, I stripped away the sweaty mountain clothes and wiped myself down with a cold towel before getting into a nice, well ventilated dress, and found a shady place out in the yard to veg out and read. By then, it was coming up on sunset, so my boyfriend came over and we grabbed some more icy-cool drinks and headed down to the beach to watch the sunset. It was a spectacular experience; we arrived just in time to see it creeping below the mountains. Then we walked down to a secluded sandy spot, shielded from the wind, where we again soaked our legs in the perfectly cool water, and laid in the sand until the sky was filled with stars.

At that point, being far less suffocated by the overwhelming humidity, I suddenly realized how hungry I was, so we went home. I ate a leftover half sandwich from earlier in the day, had one more cool drink, washed off my legs from the ocean, and went to bed with a fan in my face.

I woke up feeling good this morning, and wanting to repeat it all again! But I think today might be an indoor day. Most indoor activities seem to be air conditioned these days anyways. For example:

Movie theatres

Karaoke

Bowling

Indoor roller rinks

Shopping centers

Fitness centers (+swimming pools)

Restaurants

Furniture stores (I like to go pretend I'm buying a couch, and test all of them)

And more! Maybe. In any case, I need to turn off this computer. It's not very happy operating in this weather either. Best of luck to all of you, warm weather or otherwise, in enjoying it however you see fit!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Invent a recipe: Chuckleberry Chili Cakes


Baking is another thing that I've already had a fair bit of practice with. My abilities have gradually improved by many hours spent in the kitchen making batch after batch of assorted goods, largely for my banana-bread loving host family in Germany. And whenever I bake now, I'm always reminded of a brief conversation I shared with the father there, who said that, despite being one of my biggest muffin fans, he preferred cooking over baking, because cooking was less precise and formulaic... he didn't like following recipes.


I think that's a little unfair. I am, as you may already know or will come to know shortly, not at all precise, and my measurements, if I measure at all, are best described as vague. I think both cooking and baking require some form of instruction at the beginner level. I know I can't cook much without a recipe, so I definitely need a helping hand, if only to get the feel for where to start. Granted, you can boil, broil, fry or barbeque a potato, and you can pretty well only bake a muffin, but once you've got those proportions down, the opportunities for freestyling your recipe are endless, easy, and unlike cooking, nearly always foolproof.


So today, I took my favourite cakey-muffin proportions and decided I needed to do something with the nearly-too-ripe huckleberries in the fridge. I love huckleberries, and this is the first year in a long time that the plant seems to have thrived in my area. I slaved away in the forest for hours picking the tiny buggers, so it would be a terrible shame to waste them.


For those of you that don't know what huckleberries are, they come from a small(ish), oval-leafed plant that grows along the west coast of North America, particularly on dead cedar trees. I'm told there are multiple varieties, but the red ones are the ones I like; small, sour, and succulent! Lingonberries would probably be a good substitute, but if they're too tart (as in, totally unpleasant to eat fresh), you might need to boil them in sugar-water for a couple of minutes. I'm sure halved raspberries would be fine, too.


Anyways, huckleberries are always tangy, and sometimes very tart, so I wanted to have a muffin with a stronger flavour to balance the bite of the berry. Thus, I decided cocoa powder would be a nice addition. And being a huge chocolate fan, I didn't think a few tiny chocolate chunks would hurt. A little chili powder for some kick, and my recipe was born. So here it is in writing, and remember: The measurements are very approximate! In Germany, I used a teacup and a dinner spoon to bake, so like I said, as long as you have everything roughly in proportion, it's not a big deal.


Chuckleberry Chili Cakes
Makes 10 muffins


1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg




1 egg
1/4 cup vegetable oil (1/2 cup if you don't use banana)
Optional: 1 old mashed banana
Water/milk




1/2 to 3/4 cup huckleberries
1/4 cup chopped semi-sweet chocolate bits




So, first things first, heat up the oven to 350 degrees Celsius. If you've got an old banana that needs using, mash it up in a little bowl and set it aside. Then get out a bigger bowl and combine the dry ingredients. Mix them all together and you should have a light brown, chocolatey-chili scented powder. Please note: I don't actually have any idea how much chili powder ended up in my muffins because my container had a salt-shaker type lid, but I'd imagine not much more than 1 teaspoon. Use your best judgement.


Then dump your almost-liquified banana in, followed by the egg, the vegetable oil, and maybe a half cup of milk. Again, note: I used canola oil because I had it on hand, but it just occurred to me that chili oil might have been brilliant... could have even replaced the powder. I'll try that next time. Anyways, then just take a spoon (you really don't need an electric mixer) and mix it all together until it's a thick paste. It'll probably still be a bit dry at that point so add milk or water until it's just right. If it's still looking just a little dry, put the berries and chocolate in first. Sometimes the water on the berries (from washing them) is just enough to get it where you want it. The mixture shouldn't really hold its shape, but it shouldn't just pour out either, so be careful not to get it too runny. But if mistakes happen and you do over-water it, bake it anyways. It's likely that it will still taste good, the only problem might be the berries and chocolate sinking to the bottom and burning.


So, then you take your greased muffin pan and start emptying the mixture into the compartments. I usually start with a heaping spoonful in each of the ten and then spread around and even out whatever is left at that point.


Then just pop them in the oven... 12-15 minutes later they should be done! I usually check every 2-3 minutes after the ten minute mark to see how it's going. To make sure your muffins are done, you need one of these little metal prods (or a toothpick, if it's long enough), and when you can insert it all the way into the center muffin, and it comes out dry, your muffins can come out and start to cool! After you've taken them out, leave them in the pan for at least five minutes before putting them on a cooling rack. This keeps them moist. After another ten minutes or so, you can either put 'em away or chow down!





Mine were quite delectable, if I do say so myself. If you find them dry, try slopping in a bit more oil next time. Any problems or successes, let me know!